A Personal Critical Review on KSSR/KBSR

It never strike me even once that being a teacher especially an English Language teacher would require more inner strength than I imagined. I embraced the idea of being an English Language teacher with simple concept. Speak and master the language and that would be enough for me to survive in this profession. The moment of truth hits me when I actually immersed myself to be a good English Language teacher by learning by heart to be one. The period of preparation is actually a dramatic one for me because of the transition from Kurikulum Bersepadu Sekolah Rendah (KBSR) to Kurikulum Standard Sekolah Rendah (KSSR) for the elementary school. All I need to do is to actually understand the concept and objectives of KSSR so that I would be able to teach the students accordingly.

            First of all, what is the drastic change between KBSR and KSSR other than the different acronyms? KBSR being the pioneer for many trials that the National Education Board wanted to perform on Malaysian students. KBSR was more about integrating all the skills especially in English Language Teaching (ELT) classrooms where the language skills such as Speaking, Writing, Listening and Reading are emphasized at a very basic level. I, myself experienced the curriculum where it practically more about working on ‘language across curriculum’ objective. This refers to having the national language, Malay Language used as the medium of instruction for all the subjects except English Language subject. As a future English Language teacher, I’m going to touch on KBSR and KSSR in the aspect of English Language alone.  KBSR focuses on how to prepare students with basic language skills that can be used in daily life communication meanwhile KSSR focuses on improvising the already basic learned skills to a better and effectively communication accordingly. Being this as the aim for KSSR, it was implemented in early 2011 with new-to-Malaysian’s approach, the Modular based syllabus. For primary school, the syllabus of English Language is divided into two main components, Level 1 compromising Year One, Year Two and Year Three and Level 2 compromising Year Four, Year Five and Year Six. Four modules such as Listening and Speaking (Module 1), Reading (Module Two), Writing (Module Three) and Language Arts (Module Four) will be taught in Level 1 whereas grammar will be added to these four modules in Level 2. To be honest, I wondered what kind of grammar is being introduced to students at later years. Is it advanced or is it only from Year Four onwards the grammar is actually being taught properly? If it’s the later one, I believe it’s really hard to produce young learners who can master the language as what the government wants, being the communicate user of the language. As what I learned in another subject named Child Development, children at their very young age tend to pick up on languages so efficiently if they are taught appropriately. I believe this is when the educators in primary schools should focus on building a very strong foundation in English Language grammar so that the students will be able to remember the rules and it will be natural for them to construct words in their mind before communicating using the right grammar and vocabulary.

            Both curriculums use textbook as their primary source of knowledge guidance in classrooms as it provides the standard content and learning for the students. The method of English Language teaching might be slightly different but attractive and at the same time, interactive for the students. Since Language Arts is introduced to this curriculum, I believe it provides an alternative for the teachers to actually come up with various ideas to convey a meaningful lesson in a way which all the students enjoy. This leads to student-centered lessons where activities such as forum, debate, role-play and even some language games for example Scrabble and Boggle for the students to learn the language by heart. I personally experienced a very radical increase in learning English Language when my teacher actually used all the methods above to provide an efficient lesson for us. This is why I believe with a curriculum like KSSR, it will help the students to actually learn the language as natural as it can be and also for enjoyment purpose. The noticeable change would be the elevation from 3M as in Mengira (Arithmetic), Membaca (Reading) and Menulis (Writing) to 4M by maintaining the 3M but adding one more, Menaakul (Reflection) to it. I honestly believe that this extra component actually helps to build a positive minded student since he or she can reflect on the potentials and works on it to be successful. This is a good thing because not everyone has the chance to realize their potentials and end up making more wrong decisions than they actually should.

            The revolutionary change in KSSR from KBSR is the assessment and the amount of exposure one student gets out from their syllabus. KBSR is very much exam-oriented approach where the students are assessed formatively according to their academic performance in examinations meanwhile KSSR is a combination of both formative and summative assessment where the teacher will assess more on development of skills and it is done more individually. This is a great feature of KSSR, I would say. Throughout my twelve and half years in school, I was judged based on my results. As harsh as reality could be, I couldn’t pursue my dreams because of the results and has to opt to my second option as I’m doing what I’m good at, teaching. I believe with KSSR being implemented students will have more chances to succeed as they can develop many skills and assessed accordingly to land themselves in a satisfaction side of life.  The amount of exposure I meant here was the themes that are integrated in lessons such as Science, Technology and Humanity for a better understanding. Based on what I learned in English Teaching Methods, this part of the curriculum is more or less like the Content-Based Approach where the teacher focuses on the target language and how it is used effectively to convey the lesson using the bigger scale content. For example, during my Form 4 and 5 I have to take on the English in Science and Technology subject where I have to learn the scientific terms and how they are used in academic writing and at the same time, being exposed to a completely different field of study.

            To put it in a nutshell, as a future educator who is going to teach the students according to KSSR, I believe that KSSR is a practical solution than KBSR in order to produce all-rounders that excel in various fields without much hassle. Dreams will be more realistic and the curriculum itself will help to drill the students to prepare themselves to achieve their dreams.

REFERENCES :-

Online Sites

1.    Nanthini Vayapuri. January,16,2012. Implementation of Five Classic Creative Methods in Kurikulum Standard Sekolah Rendah (KSSR). Retrieved on December,11,2012, from http://www.anthrajae.blogspot.com/2012/01/implementation-of-five-classic-creative.html

2.    Cynthia C. James. October,13,2011. KSSR and the Modular Approach. Retrieved on December,11,2012, from http://cindyjbj79.blogspot.com/2011/10/kssr-and-modular-approach.html

3.    Maryannie Iskandar. April, 7, 2011. KBSR vs KSSR. Retrieved on December,11,2012 from http://langlitmaryannie.blogspot.com/2011/04/kbsr-vs-kssr.html

Academic Books

1.    John W. Santrock. (2011). Child Development (Thirteenth Edition). Mc-Graw Hills Humanities/Social Sciences/ Languages.

2.    Diane Larsen-Freeman. (2000). Techniques and Principles in Language Teaching. Oxford University Press.

[Child Development] Infant's Sleeping - Eastern or Western Approach?

Topic :  Infants and toddlers in Western cultures are expected to sleep alone and on a regular sleep schedule. Among the Asians, bedtimes vary and no infant sleeps alone. In your opinion, which approach is best for infants and toddlers, and why?

Sleep being a very essential routine in a human being’s daily life since the important cognitive processes takes places while the body is ‘asleep’ such as processing the information that one has gathered the whole day and since sleep is a very basic need during the infancy and toddlerhood, the approaches are also considered to be playing a vital role in providing such need.

                        The Eastern approach in sleeping for infants and toddlers is also known as co-sleeping where the parents will share beds with their child until they reach a certain age for them to sleep separately from the parents meanwhile the Western approach is where the parents put the infants to sleep in their own cribs in a separate room from the parents and usually practiced in North America, Europe and Australia. In the Eastern approach, the parents usually have this strong concern to keep the child close to them as it makes them more secured and easy to cater their needs at night and in the Western approach, the parents will place a microphone inside the baby’s room and hold a mini speaker with them all the time so that whenever the baby cries, they can actually attend their needs. For parents who practice the Eastern Approach, the bedtime and naps of the infant or toddler may vary according to the environment and situation whereas in the Western approach, the infants are practiced to have a regular sleep schedule with fixed time for naps and bedtime. Both approaches are strongly connected to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) because theories had been suggested that parents might ‘roll’ over their newborn infant because being unaware of the child’s presence on the shared bed which leads to suffocation. Another scientific hypothesis made was when the infant shares the bed with the parent(s), the level of carbon dioxide in the room’s atmosphere is higher than when the infant is to put to sleep separately in baby’s crib in baby room. However these hypotheses are rejected by the experts because the adults usually will be able to sense the presence of the child on their bed even in their subconscious mind unless they are under the influence of alcohol or substances and the high level of carbon dioxide doesn’t lead to suffocation or breathing difficulties as shown in a trial comparing 20 infants sleeping in these two approaches. And as for letting infants to sleep alone, it’s quite risky as the infant might sleep on his or her stomach unintentionally which leads to SIDS.

                        In my opinion, the Eastern approach is more suitable for an infant or toddler although their sleeping pattern might vary. This is because by practicing the co-sleeping approach, factors such as the bond, the feeling of family, the need of each other side by side, the importance of the family as a unit will be established naturally during the process. This is completely opposite with the Western approach whereby values such as self-dependent and courage will be instilled at a very young age. According to Erik Erikson’s stages in a human development, a child from the age of 0 to 3 years will undergo the trust versus mistrust stage where the amount of care and attention given by the parents will dramatically affect the child to grow up with a positive mental state and a safe environment. As for the infants, having their mother sleeping next to them will automatically make them feel secured as they are used to the breathing pattern of the mother and heart beat rate since they used to listen to it in the womb. Eastern mothers usually considers breastfeeding quite important and there is scientific research saying that breastfeeding a child until he or she is 2 years old will provide all the necessary nutrition that a child needs for his or her development. Therefore having one or both parents to sleep with the child might foster, especially the maternal bonding between a mother and child due to breastfeeding at nights. Regarding the variations in bedtime and naps in Eastern approach does not seem to be a bad thing after all. Parents allowing child to sleep whenever they are tired or sleepy will help the child to get enough sleep as much as he wants when he actually needs it. This is contrast with the Western approach where the parents tend to force the child to follow a regular sleeping time pattern but this won’t really works because forcing a not sleepy child to sleep is such a wasteful action.

                        As for the conclusion, I personally relate to my experiences of being raised in the very same Eastern approach where the family bonding and relationships establishment are prioritized which actually seeds tradition and respect for the elders in the family so that when a child grows to be an adult, he or she will always depend and consider the family in their decisions. The Eastern approach indeed provide a nurturing and safe environment for an infant that always felt safe in a mother’s womb to continue feeling such after being brought to this world.

                                                                                                                                    (851 words)

References :

1.      Online sites

·         Sudden Infant Death Syndrome – PubMed Health http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002533/

·         Why babies should never sleep alone: A review of the co-sleeping controversy in relation to SIDS, bedsharing and breast feeding (By James J. McKenna and Thomas McDade)                       http://cosleeping.nd.edu/assets/31970/mckenna_why_babies_should_n.pdf

·         Sudden Infant Death Syndrome – Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudden_infant_death_syndrome#Bed_sharing

·         Cosleeping and Your Baby – KidsHealth http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sleep/cosleeping.html

2.      Books

·         Erik Erikson’s 8 stages of human development – Educational Psychology, Fifth Edition by John W.Santrock (The McGraw-Hill Companies)

                         

[Sociology of Education] Sociology of Education in Malaysia's National Education Philosophy

Malaysian education system revolves around the National Education Philosophy where it aims to produce a loyal, and united Malaysian nation, produce faithful, well-mannered, knowledgeable, competent and prosperous individuals, produces the nation’s human resource for development needs and to provide educational opportunities for all Malaysians.

Functional theory (Emile Durkheim) explains how the society and institutions work interdependently for the betterment of the society. This can be seen in Malaysian school systems where it is compulsory for children at the age of seven to begin their primary education which shows the importance of education because eventually educated individuals will contribute back to the society. Conflict theory (Max Webber) is not encouraged in Malaysian schools as it will be quiet controversial since Malaysia is made of various ethnicity and cultures. But as for the dominating groups getting the best education can actually be noticed through those elite and international schools where only those affordable for the cost of education supplied gets the better exposure and education compared to national schools. The tension in the society can be seen when students from national schools have to compete with those from elite schools in order to be employed or getting the best tertiary education in nation. Malaysian schools are basically practice open system approach where it functions with the help of the five fundamental elements such as inputs, transformation process, outputs, feedback and environment. Malaysian government provides sufficient inputs such as human, financial, information and physical resources. The transformation process is the teaching-learning process and outputs are the accomplishment of the goals through the achievements and examination results. The feedbacks are given by the society that consists of parents of the students, politicians and administrators. The environment refers to the political, social and economic status that affects the learning and administration of the school.

In order to bring up our National Education Philosophy, certain issues in sociology need to be considered. These issues are the role of education and the ‘process of stratification’ in the society, stratification and equality of educational opportunity concerning on class, race and gender and ability grouping and teacher expectations as well. Stratification is necessary for a society to function efficiently which enables it to reach its full potential economically and socially, in line with their view that society is a set of interconnected parts which work together to form a whole. Moving on further to equality of educational opportunity (EEO) which was conducted based on the schools in the United States of America; it is defined as equality of results, given the same individual input (Coleman, 1968, p. 14). Everyone deserves education opportunity in their life. According to Ballantine (2001), equal opportunity means equal results among students from different social backgrounds. In short equality means to all people having an equal chance of achieving a high socioeconomic status in society, regardless of sex, race or class and as it relates to school, the concerns are on facilities, financing and availability. Education benefits the society in producing all Malaysian citizens who are knowledgeable and competent for the betterment of the society. This can only happen if all the Malaysian citizens are given equal opportunity in education. It is believed that, demographic factors such as gender, race and family status still affect the individual’s chance to receive an equal education. This can be seen in vernacular schools in Malaysia where the students are segregated based on the races and having schools based on gender such as same sex schools. Meanwhile, individuals from rich and affordable families have the upper hand to study in international schools. This clearly shows that status of individuals plays an important role on whom getting the best education out there. Individuals can be grouped according to their abilities regardless their demographic factors. No one should be discriminated since everyone is deserved to be treated equally. Students can be grouped according to their performance which is fair to all. If you score well, you are placed in better class. If you performed badly then you are placed in class that suits your ability where you can perform your talent well. Individuals who are grouped according to their abilities developed more because they can cope with something that suits their talent. Slow learners should not be placed among the fast learners because they would not be able to catch up the learning process in the class. However, if they are placed among individuals who have the same abilities as them, educators must make sure that the learning process is appropriate with their developmental level where this group of students can achieve something even they are slow. Hence, they are not held back in that particular group because they can communicate as much as they want without feeling being compared, insecure and introvert.

There are schools in Malaysia like this where they placed individuals according to their abilities and disabilities. Students with special needs are not placed among normal students because they need more individual and undivided attention than the normal students. Even, they are not placed with normal students; they still can succeed in their life. There are 160 blind but degree holders and 10 blinds with PhD. Dato’ Mah Hassan Omar’s biggest achievement is being called to the Bar and became the First Blind Lawyer in Malaysia. Now Dato Mah Hassan is a practicing lawyer and an OKU and white cane activist had played a major role in the PWD Act 2009. PWD being People with Disabilities as known internationally unlike OKU only understood in for many good things to come for you and all OKU in general and Malaysia. What does this proves? Education is for all. There is another common issue that is always being raised up which is the negative expectation of teachers for the low expectation of students. This can be normally seen in most of the schools since we experienced similar situations throughout our 12 years of both primary and secondary schools. The perception of the teachers towards the low expectation students and high expectation students differ all the time. Lower expectation students are discriminated, criticized and looked down whereas high expectation students are praised and given special treatment till it discourages the low expectation students. Instead of being motivated, they are being compared and discouraged where they will often lose their self-confidence to achieve in their life. The perception of this kind of society need to be changed since there is always a room for improvement. According to the goals of the school system, Malaysian schools belong to the homogenous society where all the schools has uniform curricula and materials and also the functionalists emphasize that the ultimate goal for each and every school is to function smoothly and practice the National Education Philosophy and for it not be leaning towards the Conflict Theory, the school goals should not promote stratification.

In order to achieve our National Education Philosophy objectives, these kinds of issues need to be overcome. Malaysian Education Board revised several issues such as upgrading KBSR to KSSR in order to help needs of the government is met and this should be a stepping stone in accomplishing the aims of National Education Philosophy.

                        

The Secret

When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade.

Make simple things that are given from the God more extraordinary! 

Living by accepting every single thing that happens in your life simply because it happens naturally is a coward’s life. There is no fun and excitement in accepting things as they are. Try to challenge things so that it makes your life worth living.

Whenever I wanted to update my blog, the first thing that crosses my mind is the phrase “I’m tired…” but I refuse to start my blog with that phrase. Be it physical or mental, I’m just getting tired of seeing how things are settling in my life. It’s paranoia to be optimistic when things really suck to remain positive.

The previous semester as a TESLian is a great one that I had after my first semester. I realized that I have changed so much and back to the old bright and bubbly Nanthini. I actually felt proud to be called upon to make people around me to smile and laugh. Proudly, I introduced myself as a ‘comedy piece’ because I knew well that I am one. It went well to the extent that I forgot how to cry. I took everything easy and positive and there was only one thing that crumbles me into bits. VT who hurts me with his words. 9 ferocious months without talking to or sending text messages to him. He told me that he doesn’t give a fuck about me anymore and I told him that I will get him back in my life as before.

Guess what, I did. Well almost~

I was introduced to this magical book called “The Secret” which I find very much useful. In several situations it proved to be true. The magic is simple. Imagine things that you dearly want as in present. For example, I’m longing for a Samsung Galaxy S2 smartphone. All I should do is write it on a paper, pretending that I already own a Galaxy S2 and how I feel using it in present tense.

“My current phone is Samsung Galaxy S2. This is the best birthday gift ever in my life. I’m sliding through various applications and it makes me feel good. It’s kinda cool to own such a smartphone…”

Next is to imagine vividly as though I’m using it. Psychologists said that since the universe can respond to our thoughts, the more we think about having something we want, the higher chance for it actually happen.

Back to VT. After 3 months he told me that, he’s back in good terms with me. Starting from his 20^th birthday on 21^st Oct 2012, he is nice and warm to me. VT is back to me with 60% of the ‘old’ him. Told ya, the magic do works!

The Story of A Day

Author's note : This is the short story that I have written based on theme of unconditional love despite dramas in life and conflicts of personalities. This is a homework for my literature class. Hope ya'all enjoy reading it :)

Elena is facing one of the bad days in her life. She woke up late for her 10am class then her car broke down on her way to her campus. Reaching the campus of Hankuk University of Foreign Studies at 10.05am, Elena realizes that she is in a big trouble. Her lecturer doesn’t like late-comers. “Oh, not again” she curses under her breath. She climbed the stairs so fast that she slipped and wounded her knee.  Ignoring the sharp pain, she still runs to the class and upon reaching the door, she noticed the lecturer has begun his lecture for the day. After taking a deep breath, she knocked and opens the door.

“I’m sorry for being late, sir.”  Elena said in an apologetic tone, an attempt for the lecturer to let her away this time.

“You are late again, Elena. You are not excused this time. Go to your seat now and I will tell you what would your punishment will be,” the lecturer said in his firm yet deep voice.  Rest of the students was looking at Elena, wondering how a girl with an IQ of 234 can be late for her classes. 

“And now, who can tell me what metaphor is and how it is different than simile?” The lecturer posed the question and a few hands shoot up in the air. “Yes Miss Jae Na?” The lecturer asked the petite girl that is sitting right in front of Elena.

“Mister Adrian, metaphor is a word or phrase that is used to describe something without applying the literal meaning. Simile is used to compare two or more things together” Jae Na said in her best attempted English that has a strong Seoul accent.

“Good one. Thanks. Now, who can give me an example of metaphor and simile? Elena?” Professor Adrian now focused his attention on Elena who lazily scribbles on her notebook. “Erm… I don’t really have an idea, sir. I’m sorry,” Elena smiled and continues her hobby. “Elena, as far as I’m concerned, English class is the only class that you showed very much lack of interest. I’m giving you a 3-hours of detention with me after class where you have to analyze 10 poems thoroughly. And Hyun Jae will join you as well since he didn’t submit his assignment on time. That’s all for today, class. Thank you,”

Upon dismissal, the female students swarmed after Mr. Adrian. Being enrolled in Hankuk University of Foreign Studies to learn Korean Language, Adrian is also offered to conduct English Language classes for the local students. Adrian Salvatore is the hot stuff in the campus. Acknowledged for his good looks and brilliancy, most of the female students and even lecturers are hitting on him.

Everyone except for Elena Lee who prefers daydreaming rather than asking Adrian for a cup of coffee. It made rest of her classmates wonder. Elena never seemed to get along with Mr. Adrian and neither she showed any interest in him. But rumors are there saying that Mr. Adrian and Elena are spotted being close and having a cozy talks in his office.

Elena hates literature especially poems. She was doing the last poem’s analysis where she finds the theme of the poem is very much irrelevant. “Mr. Adrian, why is it so that in “To My Dear and Loving Husband” the wife has an unconditional love towards her husband? Such thing exists now?” Elena asks while scratching her temple with her pen. “Well, it depends. Back then, the wife and husband has an unspoken vow to love each other till death does them apart. But now, with the improvement of technology and globalization, relationship between a husband and wife can crumble due to insecurity and ego.”  Adrian explained. The curious Elena continues to question. “The wife can feel insecure because of the environment? How is it so?”

“For example, a husband that is caught by his wife for being flirtatious on social networking sites can create the insecurity in the wife that makes her suspect on her husband’s social life. Does that clear your doubt?” Adrian explained and their eyes met. Adrian sensed that Elena is at the verge of tears. Adrian smiled and clears his throat. “You all can leave now. See you on Thursday,” Adrian said and left the classroom.

Elena was mentally disturbed by the time she reached her house in Gangnam. It’s only 6pm but the sky is so dark. She’s done with her grocery shopping and now she has to cook dinner before her husband complains about having late dinner again. Elena had the shock of her life when the front door opens before she unlocks it. There stood Adrian with his apron on.

Met and fall in love with Elena when she attended the special piano training in North Carolina’s National Music Academy. The very same academy that Adrian was getting his vocal training. They were so many clashes in their personalities but as the saying goes, opposite attracts. Throughout the six months of training, Adrian and Elena were madly in love after knowing each other better. When Elena told Adrian that she has to leave to Seoul soon, Adrian decided to migrate to Seoul as well. Just to be with her.

Their wedding was a simple beach wedding in Jeju Island. After vowing to be true and loyal to each other, Adrian and Elena were pronounced as husband and wife. But things got complicated when both of them happens to studying in the same university in Seoul. Agreement was made that none of the fellow students and colleagues will know that they are married.

“Dinner’s ready. You must be starving. Come in.” Adrian said and flashed his charming smile and takes the grocery bags from Elena. She smiled at him and enters the house. Later at night, Elena hugged her husband and quotes, “My love is such that rivers cannot quench, nor ought but love from thee gives recompense,” from the To My Dear and Loving Husband poem. Adrian hugs her tightly as though he’s assuring her that nothing will change the intense of love he has for her.

credits to the owner :)

Make-up and me...

The title speaks for itself. It's a post about my new but mild passion for make up!

Until a month ago, I prefer to go to classes with a natural look. Hazeline's Whitening Cream and talcum powder and I'm done! It took me only 10 minutes to get ready so that gives me more time to sleep. Tell ya something, those few minutes are damn precious when you are living in a hostel.

Nowadays, I'm more...erm...a bit feminine because I have started put on those stuffs that once I call "unnatural beauty-creating-stuffs" or a.k.a make up~ For me, to successfully applying make-up that make people compliment my looks is a sign of maturity. Due to the fact that I never did my own make-up till I'm 20-years old, I am pretty much amazed and proud of my new skills.

Make-up is just another form of art. One's face is the canvas that we color. Just gotta make sure that it's not a bit too much

I don't see the purpose for this post but nah, since I'm pretty much in a hyperactive mode I better use it to blog or else I won't even pay a visit here. 

GARNIER'S WHITEN & PROTECT MOISTURIZING CREAM. Other than Hazeline, only Garnier products suits my skin so it's kinda working for me now. My skin ain't dry like before and it is more of a natural coffee brown instead of 'bleachy' fair skin. Me gusta~

MAC'S 2 IN 1 DOUBLE EXTENSION MASCARA. This actually fits my taste. One end acts as the base and the other helps to give the "extra long lashes" impression and it's in blue!

AVON'S EYELINER GLIMMERSTICK (BLACK & BLUE) This acts as the base for me to draw the line without smudging anywhere. I will only draw the 'tails' when I'm attending functions.

IN2IT LIQUID EYELINER WITH GLIMMER (BLACK) This is a gift from a fellow housemate and it can actually make my eyes look awesome and attractive. Whenever I wears this for classes, my friends never fails to compliment my eyes. =.="

Another IN2IT product. IN2IT LIP TREAT (LT03). I have this bad habit of peeling the dry skin of my lips until at one point, it was extremely bad till a tiny side of my lower lip blackened. So this tiny little magic helps me to regain the color back and moisturizes my lips.

I love this make-up that I did by MYSELF for today's birthday party! 

Open at the close

"I open at the close" - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

In Harry Potter, the "close" means the end of Harry's life. The Golden Snitch that he caught in his very first Quidditch match happens to be hosting the Resurrection Stone. It only opens at the very moment Harry Potter realizes his end is near.

That got me thinking. Is there such thing of falling deeply for someone the moment you actually asked for a break up?

I broke up with him earlier this morning. Around 3am. Cried a lot but I knew that this is the best for me.

After 2 months and 5 days being his girlfriend, he and I parted our ways. Simple reason.

He was too busy for me.

I met him after lunch today since breaking up over phone calls and text messages are way too childish. He came, smiling and treating me like a kid. Like always. He was relaxed and constantly ask me to re-consider my decision but I said I couldn't be like this anymore. So with a smile and normal mocking, we bid goodbyes.

But it was the later moments that got me disturbed. I realized how much I've missed him. Our last date was 19 days ago and it was a sweet one. Meeting after such long time is only to consolidate my decision.

Maybe I actually fall for him even deeper now?

I loved you sincerely~